I love how people tell you one thing and then tell you a different thing, or do a different thing. It really hurts how I feel used and abused when I try to think about things. I have a lot on my mind, yet people think I can immediately decide something big right then and there. I'm hurt inside and I don't know what to do and it tears me apart to be in this position. I guess whatever happens happens and I can't stop it. I guess I'll go on to sleep. Night people....
-The Jap Files
About Me
- The Jap Files
- I love to play paintball, love to be outdoors, and love to hang with friends. Don't judge me until you know me.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Friday, July 15, 2011
Am I?
Am I really this bad? Am I really just a bad person that makes everyone mad or sad....never happy? Why do I always get pushed down and/or replaced by someone that is better. why cant anyone just take me for who I am, not what they want me to be? Why do I have to be replaced by someone or something that lives far away. why do I just suck. why do pol just use me instead of becoming a part of me. I feel like I should put up walls when sooner or later someone or something will take it down. I tried to give everything I have to the world but the world just consumed what I had and threw me aside. I ask myself "if the world really loves me, then why does it use me? why does it take everything I have and push me down? smother me until I give in?" I look back and see that I was in a dream, knowing that it would become a nightmare with a flip of a switch. knowing that what I do in my future would determine who and what changes around me. I cnt breathe, I cnt sleep, I cnt eat....all I can do is think. Think of what I went through. Think of what I love and hated. I saw more love than hate but many ppl saw more hate then love. I feel like I was the cause of the situation. the cancer to prostate. the virus in which infected the world. I feel like if I just died, that the world would become perfect. that the world would just become sinless and aimless. where every disease would be cure. no drama would happen. and where everyone would be actually happy.
I'll just lay in this hole, sitting....thinking.....wondering who will rescue me. If no one rescues me then I'll leave a will and my carcass for anyone who finds me. and in that will, I will leave steps on how to not go where I have gone. where they can be happy instead of acting happy.
I sit here....listening...and I hear....crickets...cars passing by....and the rooster crowing in the distance. the moon is gleaming in the sky, but I sit here....blind. only with a paper and pen shall I write what I feel. and if I were to die, my hopes that someday a guy or gal will pick up that note and read and show what not to do.
last thing to know. I feel as if I'm a lost child in a world of darkness. crying for help. but no one comes. I feel like that. so I ask you readers....am I just nothing....am I just someone who will be in misery forever?....who will just keep putting walls and being used by the world.
am I???
-The Jap Files
I'll just lay in this hole, sitting....thinking.....wondering who will rescue me. If no one rescues me then I'll leave a will and my carcass for anyone who finds me. and in that will, I will leave steps on how to not go where I have gone. where they can be happy instead of acting happy.
I sit here....listening...and I hear....crickets...cars passing by....and the rooster crowing in the distance. the moon is gleaming in the sky, but I sit here....blind. only with a paper and pen shall I write what I feel. and if I were to die, my hopes that someday a guy or gal will pick up that note and read and show what not to do.
last thing to know. I feel as if I'm a lost child in a world of darkness. crying for help. but no one comes. I feel like that. so I ask you readers....am I just nothing....am I just someone who will be in misery forever?....who will just keep putting walls and being used by the world.
am I???
-The Jap Files
Saturday, July 9, 2011
The Firefighter's Creed.
For those who haven't been up to date on my life and what is coming to it, I have done the things below:
-Become a Firefighter
-Become an Air Force Guardsman
-Become lazy
-Have a beautiful gf
-Live my life
But today, I have only one thing that I want to talk about...the firefighter's creed.
It goes as follows:
When I am called to duty. God.
Whenever flames may rage,
Give me strength to save some lives,
Whatever be its age.
Help me embrace a little child,
Before it is too late.
Or save an older person,
From the horror of that fate.
Enable me to be alert,
And hear the weakest shout,
And quickly and efficiently,
To put that fire out.
I want to fill my calling,
And to give the best in me,
To guard my every neighbor,
And protect his property.
And if, according to my fate,
I am to lose my life.
Please bless with your protecting,
Hand the special people in my life.
-Author Unknown
This is one of the creeds I go by and never will forget until the day I die. Well I'm going to go on to bed, hope everyone has a great night and a safe one too. NIGHT PEEPS!!!!
-The Jap Files
<(^.^)>
-Become a Firefighter
-Become an Air Force Guardsman
-Become lazy
-Have a beautiful gf
-Live my life
But today, I have only one thing that I want to talk about...the firefighter's creed.
It goes as follows:
When I am called to duty. God.
Whenever flames may rage,
Give me strength to save some lives,
Whatever be its age.
Help me embrace a little child,
Before it is too late.
Or save an older person,
From the horror of that fate.
Enable me to be alert,
And hear the weakest shout,
And quickly and efficiently,
To put that fire out.
I want to fill my calling,
And to give the best in me,
To guard my every neighbor,
And protect his property.
And if, according to my fate,
I am to lose my life.
Please bless with your protecting,
Hand the special people in my life.
-Author Unknown
This is one of the creeds I go by and never will forget until the day I die. Well I'm going to go on to bed, hope everyone has a great night and a safe one too. NIGHT PEEPS!!!!
-The Jap Files
<(^.^)>
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Life is like a road....
I've gotten many emails over things such as issues with friends, families, and drama dealing with school. Well I decided to talk about it and try to help as best as I could. Now even though it's like 2 in the morning, I couldn't sleep so I thought this could help.
A guy emailed me about his issues dealing with three people: his wife, his sister, and his best-friend. He agreed for me to tell the story about it with privacy being used as I tell the story. His wife was pregnant with a baby girl. He loved her to death but was scared about what to do and what he should do. His sister, who he loved to death, was just so helpful and perfect as God wanted a person to be. Well when he decided to listen to his sister instead of his best-friend, his best-friend decided to take action. The best-friend decided to inject some substances into the sister's arm, thus making her really sick and sent to the hospital. When she went to the hospital, she was diagnosed dead and this sent the guy swirling down a dark road. A dark road where no light could be seen.
To make matters worse, the best-friend blamed all of the problems on him and committed suicide because he made her "kill herself". When this happened, he just collapsed and became overwhelmed with guilt, and sadness. Later on down the road, the wife had a miss-carriage and now developed cancer in the stomach. Now when I heard this, I was shocked at what I thought had happened. I thought this wasn't true until he proved it by showing me documentation of the incidents.
I never want to see this happen to anyone, that is why I help. All I can do is give out advice and tell people to just gather their thoughts and calm down.
What I think about this situation is that you should sit down, drink some water, and write things that make you happy and things that make you sad. Even though those things has happened to you, you should never let the past effect your future. God has placed those obstacles in your life because he is preparing you for the future that has yet to come. Once you have overcome those obstacles, then you can accomplish anything. Yes, it will take time, but the question is this: When do you decide to get over the past and rebuild yourself for the future? Just don't keep focusing on what has happened, and focus on what you can do. You can accomplish anything if you just believe. I don't know if you are religious but just do this or at least try. Just pray to God, tell him that you need help, and ask for guidance. I think that God has made me a person that helps as best as I can. I hope I could help this person and many other people with similar problems.
I hope that EVERYONE has a great day and night and if you have any questions or problems, you can send me an email (please tell me who you are and a reply email would be great) at thejapfiles@gmail.com. Well I'm tired so I'm gonna hit the hay. GOODNIGHT PEEPS!!!!
-The Jap Files
<(^.^)>
A guy emailed me about his issues dealing with three people: his wife, his sister, and his best-friend. He agreed for me to tell the story about it with privacy being used as I tell the story. His wife was pregnant with a baby girl. He loved her to death but was scared about what to do and what he should do. His sister, who he loved to death, was just so helpful and perfect as God wanted a person to be. Well when he decided to listen to his sister instead of his best-friend, his best-friend decided to take action. The best-friend decided to inject some substances into the sister's arm, thus making her really sick and sent to the hospital. When she went to the hospital, she was diagnosed dead and this sent the guy swirling down a dark road. A dark road where no light could be seen.
To make matters worse, the best-friend blamed all of the problems on him and committed suicide because he made her "kill herself". When this happened, he just collapsed and became overwhelmed with guilt, and sadness. Later on down the road, the wife had a miss-carriage and now developed cancer in the stomach. Now when I heard this, I was shocked at what I thought had happened. I thought this wasn't true until he proved it by showing me documentation of the incidents.
I never want to see this happen to anyone, that is why I help. All I can do is give out advice and tell people to just gather their thoughts and calm down.
What I think about this situation is that you should sit down, drink some water, and write things that make you happy and things that make you sad. Even though those things has happened to you, you should never let the past effect your future. God has placed those obstacles in your life because he is preparing you for the future that has yet to come. Once you have overcome those obstacles, then you can accomplish anything. Yes, it will take time, but the question is this: When do you decide to get over the past and rebuild yourself for the future? Just don't keep focusing on what has happened, and focus on what you can do. You can accomplish anything if you just believe. I don't know if you are religious but just do this or at least try. Just pray to God, tell him that you need help, and ask for guidance. I think that God has made me a person that helps as best as I can. I hope I could help this person and many other people with similar problems.
I hope that EVERYONE has a great day and night and if you have any questions or problems, you can send me an email (please tell me who you are and a reply email would be great) at thejapfiles@gmail.com. Well I'm tired so I'm gonna hit the hay. GOODNIGHT PEEPS!!!!
-The Jap Files
<(^.^)>
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